well, that was an interesting experience.

I had a sexual experience the other day that is blowing my mind! Yes, this is going to be a sex post. The mind-blowing piece isn't about the actual sex, but more how it's reframing how I think about sex in general. So you know I've been seeing The Activist pretty regularly and it's awesome and amazing and things are just the right level of friends-with-benefits. On Monday, though, I went out with San Jose, this dude I had a first date with like a month ago but then we both got busy and were traveling and it was hard to meet up.

First off - I went to San Jose for a date. I mean, I was down in Mountain View for work already, so it was less annoying at first, but still. It took me almost two hours to get home. I need to stick to San Francisco boys. Maybe Oakland/Berkeley. Maybe some people think love knows no bounds, but I'm pretty sure my capacity for love taps out around Daly City. Anyway, he picked me up from the shuttle stop and took me to this little cute wine bar. We had a couple of glasses of wine, and then he asked me if I wanted to watch some cartoon he thought I would like. I said yes, because I was intrigued by him (I could give two shits about a cartoon). We got to his place, he put on the cartoon, and then he started giving me a foot rub. Normally that skeeves me out, because I fucking hate feet, but I went with it. That turned into a back rub, which is literally the key to my soul vagina. Seriously. If you rub my back, I'll do anything you want me to. Maybe twice. Then, we're making out a little bit and he pulls me toward the bed and he's like, "I want to tie you up."

GIRL, I FROZE. I mean, I've been tied up before, so it wasn't that. I was just so taken aback by it. I mean, he went from 0 to 100 in like no time flat. We had talked about BDSM during our first date, but this was really abrupt. But, because I'm always game for a story (note: this will be why I die someday), I was like, "Okay." So what followed was maybe like an hour or 90 minutes of being tied up, blindfolded, and gagged. We had absolutely no penetration - no vaginal sex, no anal sex, no oral sex. Nothing. Yet... I probably climaxed more than I have with 85% of my partners. So yeah, I'm like - did we have sex? I mean, we didn't have sex... but it was kind of like sex. I DON'T KNOW. I'm so confused. I don't know if I want it to happen again. I mean, I probably want it to happen again. He was very talented, and yet - I missed the actual intimacy of sex. I love my BDSM shit - it's fun and kinky and exciting. But, there's something about the intimacy of penetration that I like a lot.

I will continue to explore this and write back.