My life is currently in a state of WTF. I can't even really describe it, especially not at 2:30AM. Of course, I took one of my epic naps and am now up trying to finish my to do list. I'm also watching American Horror Story: Freak Show because apparently, I don't want to sleep a wink tonight.
My job has truly gone off the rails. That huge event that was going to happen - it's canceled, and now I'm spending all of my time at work cleaning up the mess. In the words of my coworker JS, "I can't believe this is my job right now." You all thought I hated my job back in May? Well, now I loathe and despise it. I'm having my come to Jesus moment and I don't know what's going to happen, but something has got to give. Everything is monumentally fucked and I need to draw on all of my resources, strength, and hustle to figure out my life. There really aren't words to describe how you feel when one year of your career just blows up in smoke, right in front of your face. It's maddening, frustrating, and makes you want to scream. I am not myself anymore - I'm angry and I don't have any fucks left to give.
I think all of this is showing me that corporate America is not where I'm meant to be, and I need to figure something else out. I'm taking the Foreign Services Officer Test on Friday, I'm exploring the "going back to school" option, and I'm thinking of how I can turn my likes and hobbies into something that will give me a living wage. I need some kind of new life, and I don't know what makes the most sense, but the tide is turning and shit is going down.
Stay tuned.
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