juice cleanse, day 2.

I'm doing a juice cleanse right now (the goal is 3 days, I'm on Day #2), and to my shock and surprise, I actually like it! I never really feel hungry, except around like 5pm and then I'll usually take a little nap, awaken, and drink the next juice. I've just been feeling insanely sluggish and gross lately, and it's been nice to up my veggie intake and stop putting disgusting crap into my body. I also love doing things that show discipline. In many aspects of my life - eating, drinking and sex come to mind - I'm not all that disciplined. Sometimes, to combat that, I like to mix it up and try to challenge myself. I did a year of celibacy, I tried giving up alcohol for Lent, and now I'm trying this juice thing.

I enjoy playing with elements of control. Anyone who has seen one of my lists knows that I'm an insane OCD control freak. I panic when I don't feel like I'm on top of my shit. It's one of the big things I talked about with my old therapist. I am incredibly tightly wound, mostly because I know how I would behave if I wasn't. I need order and discipline so I don't fall into a downward spiral. Lately, I think I've gone down the rabbit hole of bad behavior with my personal health, and I'm trying to pull myself out. I've gained a lot of weight, mostly because I've picked up some godawful eating habits. I also know that I drink too much. So, I'm trying to fix this, and the juice cleanse is a refresh on how I'm eating and my feelings about food and my body. I have more insight into this, but I'm definitely not at 100% mental capacity while I'm not eating solid food, so I'll pop in later with more thoughts.