Today, we were supposed to get the big email telling us our new pods at work, but of course because everything about my team is terrible, we didn't get it yet. I'm nervous. I just feel so unmotivated to plan events right now, especially large conferences. I only have one event that seems even remotely exciting to me, and I'm so jaded that I'm sure that will get fucked up soon, too. I've just hit my wall when it comes to this event shit. I don't want to do it anymore, but I don't know what else I do want to do. I thought I might want to do communications, but I think I'm over the corporate life and need to figure something else out. I'm ready to be done with the ridiculous rat race that is living in San Francisco and working in tech. It's a holy freaking nightmare, and I don't know how people do this day in and day out for years and years.
I'm trying to recalibrate my idea of success and determine how I can get there. I thought it was the money, the lifestyle, the travel, and all the trappings of that life, but this shit is not making me happy anymore. I want something simple, something that is my own, something I can grow for myself. I'm ready for a different pace of life. Now I just need the courage to make that leap.
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