work problems.

Why is work the single most annoying thing in my life? I'm not sure if it's because of Adventures in Clotting, Round 2 or if it's the insane amount of ambiguity around my role right now, but I'm not sure how much longer I can really do this. There are so many things I love about my job and so many things I love about my company, but is it really enough? I don't know if it's enough to sustain me. I still don't have a boss, which let me tell you, isn't as great as it sounds. I'm never really sure who I'm supposed to be reporting back to and I just feel this massive disconnect. I don't need or like to be micromanaged, but I think some degree of management is good. I feel a little adrift.

I'm also beyond pissed at one of my former managers, who I asked for a favor and got rejected. I *knew* I shouldn't have asked her. I knew she wouldn't be accommodating, but several people on the team encouraged me to go out on a limb and so I did. Now I feel like I've given up a piece of my power since she knows there's something that I want from her. I swear to God, working at large corporation can feel like the fucking Game of Thrones sometimes. I'm a huge grudge holder (FYI, ya'll!) so I hope to God she never needs anything from me because the answer will be a loud and resounding NO. For all the work and shit I did for her and for how good I am at my job and how much the team likes me, I think she could haven't taken a moment to consider helping me out. But, no. There are a lot of terribly awful and mean things I could say about her as a person, but I'm trying to just let it go. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. Plus, in a way, she did me a favor. I now know where I stand with her and where my loyalties should lie.

Anyhow, that shit is annoying me and reminding me of a great Chris Rock clip (skip to 1:20). Because at the end of the day, everything comes back to black comedians (BTW, I'm seeing CHAPPELLE tomorrow! CANNOT WAIT):