overwhelmed.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by life today, so I'm doing what I need to do - going into this weird hermit mode. I feel like I have so many things to do and so little time to do them in. It's funny - I used to LOVE the holiday season as a kid. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and the magic of the season is inspiring. However, now that I'm a full-fledged adult (well, sort of), it's just stressful. There's the holiday travel - booking a flight to New York is not cheap - plus it cuts into how much Christmas time I get in my permanent home. Then, I always throw a party, so I get to be all stressed out about how my apartment looks and who to invite and decorating and all that shit. Oh, and gifts - I am the world's worst gift-giver, so it takes me about 3x the normal amount of time to decide what to buy my family. This year, I have an event in February, so that means I can't really coast at work because I have to be planning, planning, planning. Then, there's the social aspect of it all - trying to see friends, going to holiday parties, work obligations. I just want to be ~still~ for a moment, but it seems as though that is impossible. So I can just sit here stressed out, making lists, watching TV, and running errands. I really need to start a meditation practice or do yoga or something. My whole life is seriously devoid of Zen. It's moments like this when I want to should out to the world - I KNOW I SEEM LIKE I LOVE PEOPLE AND GOING PLACES AND SHIT, BUT I AM A FREAKING INTROVERT, AND I NEED TO BE ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS.

That's all.