Lately, I've been so unmotivated to date or even respond to men who are interested in me. I have no idea why this is happening, but it's alarming. I've had a whole bunch of random Tinder/OKCupid guys trying to get all up in my grill and I'm just not feeling it (even though they're attractive). I really do want to meet someone organically, but I feel like I'm never in a place where that happens. I'm trying to get myself out and about more. Last week, I was pretty decently social - there was trivia and L's birthday party - but I'm still so blah about all my prospects.
Maybe it's because I'm not happy at work. There's something about loving my job that is a real necessity for me to feel like a fully functional human being. When I'm happy at work, it's amazing. Right now work is pretty demoralizing, BUT on the plus side, I have mountains of free time because it's slow right now and I'm refusing to take on additional responsibilities. It's just weird because I have all this time, but I'm not using it properly and I'm not in the right frame of mind.
I also think I may just be fed up with my body and my wardrobe. I hate every piece of clothing I own and I hate all the weight I've gained. I have zero desire to be thin, but I would like to be thinner in certain places (aka please God take my stomach and let me keep my T&A). I need to start getting my ass back in the gym again and working out at home at night. And drinking less. I'm sure that would also improve my mood.
I really just want to meet someone that is so exciting that I cannot overlook them. Someone who interests me and makes me feel like stepping my game up. Right now, I'm over all things dating related. My kitty cat is basically closed for business until further notice. Maybe one day I'll meet someone I can see myself with. If not, there's always that murder-suicide pact I have with JK. Hey - a girl's gotta have options!
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